Previous English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the disease.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, states rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or possibly I process things in another way, and when I have the facts, it's simpler," he added.
Early Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the condition, a set of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're rightly very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't feel poorly
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to doing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is possible."
Disease Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness kills a 33% of people within a year and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as ingestion and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody said the focus was being in the present.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very militantly focused on just accepting and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the only real decision I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Athlete Association
Elite athletes are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is considered that by restricting the O2 obtainable and creating damage to nerve cells, frequent, vigorous exercise can initiate the disease in those inherently predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a training equipment and started engaging in physical contacts.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the line-out in the critical phase of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Support Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a few other previous colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the present, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a great community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to call your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a duration with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
